Is India going from a male-dominated society to a female-dominated one?
To answer the question, “going from”, may be YES, if we do not modify the course down the line BUT we are far away from the concept of female-dominated society.
Let’s see some facts & why I think so?
- Mother’s name is mandatory in schools. So the old days when father’s name was mandatory, Now mother’s name is mandatory & father name is an option
- Women is a head of family now. Since I moved to Pune recently, my dad went to transfer ration card from Mumbai to Pune. A notable thing I heard there is women will be the head of family no matter she is earning or not as per NFSA
- No mother name on certificates? I completed my school in year 2001 and my school certificate have my mother name along with father name that I got from Mumbai University. Recently HC said that mother name is sufficient for passport, no need of father’s name in case of single parent
- Marriage expense: There are many communities in India, even in Maharashtra where I stay who divides the expenditure of marriage equally. Please excuse me but honeymoon is not only a pleasure for men if you know little bit about Human Biology. I never heard this expense is equally divided.
- Custody of child. Not only in India but across the world, in most of the cases, mother gets the custody of child. Apolo Aton Ohno, winner of 8 Olympics medal was raised by his father & had little interest in his mother
- Girls has to move away from their family. I was born & brought-up in Mumbai now living in Pune. I see many couples staying in a separate house without in-laws. So why do you think that only girl had to leave her parents? I have many friends from different part of country, some are from Bihar, UP, TN, AP, Delhi even various parts of Maharashtra such as Kolhapur, Solapur etc. where there are no much growth of industrialization or many be the job location, so they had to leave their homes long back even for studies & jobs. Don’t you think men suffers same homesickness, again if you believe in Human Biology.
*孩子的监护权。不仅在印度，纵观世界各国，在大多数情况下，母亲都会获得孩子的监护权。Apolo Aton Ohno, 8枚奥运奖牌的得主是由他的父亲抚养的，对他的母亲不闻不问。
*女孩必须搬出娘家居住。我在孟买出生和长大，现在住在浦那。我看到很多夫妻住在独立的房子里，不和双方父母一起居住。那你为什么认为女孩必须离开她的父母？我有很多来自不同邦的朋友,有来自比哈尔邦的,北方邦, 泰米尔-纳德邦, 安得拉邦，德里邦，甚至马哈拉施特拉邦各地如戈尔，索拉普等工业化进程很慢或工作机会少的地区，所以他们不得不为了求学求职离开故乡。如果你认同人类生物学的话，你不觉得男人也一样会想家吗？
In short, ‘X’ was dominating ‘Y’, so now we are trying to make ‘Y’ more powerful than ‘X’ and hoping for an equality? that would rather become ‘Y’ dominated thing, isn’t it?
The problem is ground work. While counting the number of suffering women, we count all there in country but only few are able to take help of law. We are not promoting to ground level where women are in miserable condition. Rather making laws more & more biased making few women to take undue advantage and can lead to a female dominated thing what you mentioned.
All lawful rights should reach out to all women out there and not only to urban women since most of our population is in villages.
Let me tell you based on my real experience today.
I work as RBSK doctor in Thirumanur block. So my job nature is to visit 105 schools and 122 anganwadi centres and screen children for diseases.
Today I visited a village named Melaramanallur a riverine island in the river Kollidam about 50 km from Thanjavur.
Though I planned for regular screening I was asked by deputy director to conduct measles and rubella vaccination program for the left out children in the past two days.
Since I was “asked” to conduct vaccination by my “boss” @ 11.30 am I arranged for vaccination by diverting my vehicle to the nearby PHC and got the vaccine vials, diluents and ice pack along with AEFI kits.
Since the vaccination is only for the absentees, I vaccinated 6 children (4 boys and 2 girls) from class 6 to 9. And I am bound to keep them under my observation for the next 2 hours.
So what would you do inside a remote village without internet ? I started speaking to those six children in a jovial manner and asked them some random things about cricket and mega serials they watch and slowly they opened about their life style in that village. Here are my few observations
- Girls are preferred to work after 10th std in tirupur textile industry and men were only preferred to study in nearby higher secondary school.
- Girls are required to wake up early to do all the household jobs while boys are not required to do such things.
- Among them 3 children (2 suicides) lost their fathers. And these fathers have more daughters than sons.
- Women in that village were married in their late teens or early twenties and don’t have any choice over when to have children , how much spacing can be done between pregnancy and more importantly when to have sterilization. All these were decide by their husbands and in laws.
- If you were not able to give birth to a male baby they are considered unlucky and made to keep on trying till they achieve. Till then they don’t have any respect in their family.
- The children if found any illness the care and response depends upon their sex and not the seriousness of the illness.
I would now suggest the reader to draw their own conclusion and I am speaking about rural India based on my 2 years’ experience.
To an urban Indian man, who sees women all around him getting good education, getting financially independent and really having it all, it might seem like that tables have been turned.
In fact the one on Quora might even feel like women are taking over the world, since obviously every single question which even slightly hints toward misogynistic attitude receives a good beating from female as well as the male quorans.
But reality is very different. India is not made up of big cities. India lives in villages and small towns, and status of women though improved is still despicable in most part of the country, most of our women, still work like an ox and eat like birds quite literally.
Most of Indian villages are now depopulated of men, women are left to do otherwise hard rural chores as well as farm work. Women have progressed in education but participation of women at important offices in fact overall public life is extremely low, they don't hold properties and have much less financial access, health indicators are also poor.
Urban women are also not that better off, since most of the families still follow a strict code for women, basically like rural women just not the drudgery of rural life.
The all powerful, university educated, English speaking have it all class of Indian women is really very small, and in reality, we owe most of our new found fre m to the decency of men in our lives. It is our men who value our opinions, they are decent enough to acknowledge our aspirations and rights. Otherwise there are several women coming from all classes and financial status who are leading a miserable life just because men around them won't let them flourish and they don't have the courage to walk out.
A fraction of that class is present on Quora which you happen to see as the world dominated by women. In fact all the male bashing that goes on Quora also goes on because women believe that most of the men present here are decent men, they have a sense of justice and can differentiate right from wrong. And their somewhat misogynistic point of view is just a result of being raised in a world which is essentially like that. Otherwise no one really argues at lengths with supporting arguments and facts to total scum of earth.
Vicky Ray, knows Anglo-Saxon Language
Not exactly, no.
The attempt is to a gender equal society which although is slow but for the good.
However, it’s leading to a different situation, and the side effects are showing already.
Double standards are persistent in many women, not only in India but also in the other countries in the west.
Firstly there are many women who get abused, mistreated, and are not offered education, especially in the rural areas. However, there are men as well, that get used as a walking ATM and many other purposes.
Many women still expect their dates, husbands and partners to pay for the bills when going to a restaurant, pub or any mall. If asked or requested to pay or even split the bill, they get furious label their partners or husbands as misers and some relationships even end there and then.
I would love to see my partner or wife to walk with me should to shoulder, so that we can survive together by sharing responsibilities equally, with love, trust and affection. I don't want her to depend on me alone. But it’s very rare to find women of that type.
If women want equal rights in every phase of life, be it in the society or workplace, they also have to contribute equally (if they are working) and share equal responsibilities. To be honest, that’s a very easy thing to do if both the partners have a good understanding and they love and respect each other. You just can’t take privileges and claim equality at the same time!
I had a girlfriend who is a doctor herself but she said that she would never spend a penny from her salary for our family expenditures. She even said that she might quit her job after marriage and that I should hand over all of my salary to her at the end of the month; she wasn't even joking!
译文来源：阿巴森 http://www.abaripsen.com/p/51054.html 译者：Joyceliu
In a debate on one of the Facebook pages, one women even blatantly said that husbands can’t touch their wives' money, but it’s the duty of the husbands to take the entire responsibility of the family as they give birth. That made me fall from my chair!
In India, the women biased laws are being abused by many women for their means.
Many men commit suicide (suicide rate is higher than their female counterparts) as the don’t get any help from the police and India’s judiciary. False accusations of rape, dowry and domestic abuse are increasing every year, just like the usual issues that many good women face, either in public or at home. Many men get arrested and penalised by the police and the judiciary system, based merely on the accusations of their wives or partners, even if those men have sufficient evidence to prove themselves innocent.
Why do men have to provide financial support after a divorce even if it is initiated by their wives in every case and then lose custody of their children? Especially when women want divorce just because they want to live with a different man? This is not fair.
Not really, no. Other than the obvious things like female infanticide, crimes against women and domestic violence, the following is the reality of India -
- Girls are still treated as a burden and Indian parents save for her wedding more than her education.
- In almost all marriages, it is the bride’s side which bears the wedding expenses.
- Almost all girls leave their own homes to live with the man and his family after marriage. In fact, that is the tacit understanding of every Indian marriage
- Most Indian women are expected to (and end up) take their husband’s name and surname upon marriage.
- Indian children take their father’s middle name and surname.
- I am yet to see a man in India who asks “how do I balance work as well as the chores at home”.
I am sorry, but what kind of female dominance were you talking about?