无极4

外国人谈在中国的经历

What is the strangest thing that happened to you as a foreigner in China?

作为一个外国人,在中国遇到的最奇怪的事情是什么?

 Quora读者的评论:

Dan Pres, studied at San Diego State University

For this to make sense, you need to understand a few things about me. I am big and tall. I am very tall. For those statisticians out there, I am in the third standard Deviation of tall (taller than 99.7% of the people in the U.S.). I am 6′5″ When I went to Beijing for the Olympics, I was around 270 pounds (I’m down to 235, thanks to my new diet. Details in comments if you ask). Anyhow, being that tall is one thing in the U.S. Being that tall in Beijing? Wow. The people were much shorter than I, in general. It was rare to have someone come up to my shoulders. Walking around town, I was the center of attention. The People from the country side, who had rarely if ever had seen a white man? I was a freak beyond freaks. Even to the Beijing residents, I was a curiosity.

Now, I go to the Olympics because I collect Olympic pins. I trade them, I sell them, I collect them. I’ve found that wearing my pins is the best way to go about having them ready to trade. Over the years, I’ve developed my system, and I must say it is remarkably successful.

我先介绍一下我自己的情况。我的个头很高很壮。我身高很高。对于那些统计学家来说,我属于身高的第三个标准偏差(比美国99.7%的人都要高),我有6英尺5英寸高。当我去北京参加奥运会时,我大约有270磅(因为采用了新的食谱,我的体重降到了235磅。如果你想知道的话,请在评论中看食谱详情)。不管怎么说,在美国这么高是一回事,但在北京这么高?哇。总的来说,那里的人比我矮得多。很少有人能高过我的肩膀。走在城里,我立马成为众人关注的焦点。住在乡下的人很少见过白人。我是一个怪到不能再怪的怪物。即使对北京的居民来说,我也是一个非常令人好奇的人。

现在,我因为收集奥运徽章去参加奥运会。我买卖徽章,出售徽章,收集徽章。我发现带着胸针是随时随地促成交易的最好方法。多年来,我研究出了自己的一套系统,我必须说这套系统非常成功。

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I wear a hot pink smock covered with Hundreds of pins. This allows me to walk, move, trade, escape the police (they don’t like traders blocking up traffic). Anyhow, you can imagine, 6′5″ 270 pounds, wearing pink, covered with pins, in the center of Beijing? My first time in my pin get up was in Tienanmen Square the week before the games. People were around me 10 deep. When I went to the Olympic Park, I was socked in 15 people deep. Everyone was friendly.

The strangest thing to happen to me in Beijing? I was the strangest thing to happen to Beijing!

我穿了一件别着几百个徽章的亮粉色罩衫。这样我走路、活动、交易、躲避警察(他们觉得我们妨碍交通)都很方便。好吧,你可以想象一下,高6英尺5英寸、重270磅、穿着满是徽章的粉色衣服的男人,出现在北京的中心地带,是什么场景?人们围拢在我四周,里三层外三层。我去奥林匹克公园的时候,被15个人团团围住。每个人都很友好。

对我来说,在北京发生的最奇怪的事是什么?我就是北京最奇怪的事情!

 译文来源:无极4   http://www.abaripsen.com/47682.html  译者:Joyceliu

 

Vincent Carruthers, former Bouncer (1995-2018)

1.Many Chinese people are clearing their throats a lot and then spit on the sidewalk, or under the table in a restaurant as I witnessed. This must be part of their old culture. I saw a “spit box” from the 14th century in the Du Fu thatched cottage museum, in Chengdu. It is mostly men who like to spit, but I saw (heard) women as well.

1.很多中国人经常会清喉咙,然后在人行道上吐痰,或者像我见到过的那样,在餐馆里的桌子下面吐痰。这一定是他们古老文化的一部分。我在成都的杜甫草堂博物馆里看到了一个14世纪的“痰盂”。大多数男人喜欢吐痰,但我也看到(听到)女人这样做过。

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2.I was in the same hotel several times. Every night around 22:00 someone would shove little cards under my door with scarcely dressed ladies on them with telephone numbers. It was just a regular hotel, nothing sleazy or dirty about it. I was with my girlfriend and not looking for company, and we were in different rooms during our stays. I believe someone is putting these cards under all doors in this hotel every night. So the staff must know about it, you cannot do this unnoticed every night (or otherwise the hotel would not be very safe).

2. 我在同一家酒店住过几次。每天晚上22点左右,就会有人把写有电话号码的小卡片塞到我的门缝下,卡片上的女士几乎一丝不挂。这就是一家普通的旅馆,不是什么低档肮脏的地方。我和我的女朋友在一起,我们住宿期间住在不同的房间里。肯定是有人每天晚上把这些卡片塞进这家酒店的每个房间里。所以工作人员肯定知道这件事,你不可能每天晚上这么干,还不被人发现(否则酒店的安全性就堪忧了)。

3. Near Jiuzhaigou, a famous national park with Tibetan influence, I saw of lot of disgusting pieces of animals hanging to dry in the sun. I was told that these were the reproductive organs of a male yak. Indeed I had seen yak penis on the menu of restaurants in Jiuzhaigou…

4. Chinese love to eat and like to invite the foreigner to a meal. I was invited and every Chinese wanted to drink with me. A glass of strong liquor, rice wine. So when you have a group of 5 or 6 men (as in my case) they all take turns to drink with me, saying “ganbei” (bottoms up). This resulted in me having drunk 6 glasses and my Chinese dinner mates all had one glass each. After one bottle I said “no more” (hard to say no, they were already disappointed that I didn’t take their cigarettes) and that I wanted to drink beer. Most times beer is only 2,5 - 3% alcohol in China. So we continued with the beer. I had to pee a lot that evening…

3.在著名的国家公园九寨沟附近,我看到了许多恶心的动物器官挂在太阳下晾晒。我被告知这些是雄性牦牛的生殖器官。嗯,我确实在九寨沟的餐馆菜单上看到过牦牛鞭这道菜……

4. 中国人喜欢吃,喜欢邀请外国人一起吃饭。我被邀请了,每个中国人都想和我一起喝酒。喝的是烈酒,米酒。如果你跟5到6个人一起吃饭,他们会轮流和我喝酒,嘴里说着“干杯”。我不得不喝了6杯,我的中国同事每人都喝了一杯。喝了一瓶后,我说“不能再喝了”(很难拒绝,他们已经对我没有拿他们的香烟感到失望了),可我想喝的是啤酒。在中国,大多啤酒的酒精含量只有2.5 - 3%。所以我们接着喝起了啤酒。那天晚上我上了无数次厕所…

 

Rod Karolys, teacher at Metropolitan University

ANYONE WHO PLANS TO GO TO CHINA TO TEACH, I BEG YOU TO READ THIS FIRST.

I wouldn’t recommend China to anybody. Seven years ago, I went to China to be an English teacher. I went there with the most open mind. I tried my best at learning Mandarin, met and married a Chinese girl and even had a kid there. That part is all okay. What wasn’t okay was how I was treated by my employer and subsequently by the Chinese government.

When the university I was teaching at (Shanxi Normal University in Linfen, Shanxi Province) found out that I got married, they freaked out. The director (Liu Yaning) said it wasn’t allowed for a foreign teacher to marry a local (even though we got a legal marriage paper from the government) and that I should obtain a divorce and I should encourage her to undergo an abortion forthwith. As any sane person might guess, my response was a very loud, very clear FUCK YOU.

I quit that same day and received an employment offer from another school four hours away before I’d even walked off the campus. A few weeks into my new job, I received a visit from the goon squad (foreign affairs police) who asked me lots of questions about how I found the new school, why I quit the old one, blah blah blah. As they were leaving, I noticed the plate on their car was from Linfen, which just happened to be the district of the university I quit. A few weeks after that, my new boss informed me that he couldn’t use me anymore. When I asked him why, he told me that the university was sending trouble his way for hiring me.

So once again I reached out to my contacts and got a job offer on the other side of the country (from Shanxi Tai Yuan to Zhejiang Taizhou). Long story short, I was working in Taizhou about two months when the school director there told me the exact same thing: The university in Linfen had located me and was threatening him with a lawsuit for stealing “their” teacher. Once again my wife and I had to pack our things and move, this time to Henan province. The director of that university assured me that he would renew my visa under his school, that he has no problems with his foreign teachers to be married to locals, and that he would tell the original university to piss off should they contact him.

任何想去中国教书的人,请先读一读这篇文章。

我不会向任何人推荐中国。七年前,我去中国当一名英语老师。我带着最开放的心态去了那里。我尽我最大的努力学习普通话,遇到并娶了一个中国女孩,甚至在那里生了一个孩子。这些都OK。让我不舒服的是,我的雇主待我很糟糕。

当我在山西临汾师范大学教书的时候,学校发现我结婚了,吓坏了。主任说不允许外教和当地人结婚(尽管我们拿到了合法的结婚证),我得离婚,让我太太立即堕胎。有理智的人可能猜到了,我对此的回答是非常响亮,非常清楚的QNMD。

就在同一天,我辞职了,还没走出校园,就收到了四小时车程外另一所学校的录用通知。在新学校工作几周后,有个外事警察来找我,问了我很多问题,比如我是如何找到新学校的,我为什么要离开原来的学校等等。当他们离开的时候,我注意到他们车上的车牌是临汾的,正是上一所学校所在的地区。几周后,我的新雇主通知我,他不能留用我。当我问他为什么的时候,他告诉我,学校因为雇用我而招惹了麻烦。

我在浙江台州找到了一份工作。长话短说,我在台州工作了两个月,台州的校长跟我说了同样的话:临汾的那所大学找到了我,威胁要起诉他,说他挖了他们的老师。我和妻子又一次不得不收拾行李搬家,去了河南。那所大学的校长向我保证,他会用他的学校帮续签签证,他的外教和当地人结婚没有问题,如果临汾的大学联系他,他不会理会的。

Six weeks into that gig, the director called me to inform me that he had gotten an appointment for me to change my visa that afternoon, and would I please come to the office after my last class. So I went to the office, got in the director’s car and he drove me to the local entry/exit bureau. When I got there I was informed that I was being deported. I was in the police station for all of 15 minutes before I was taken in a police van under heavy escort and driven to the airport in Beijing, 14 hours away. When I protested that I am married to a local and that we have a child, they responded, “no problem, you can take them with you.”

I lost everything. I only wanted to have a family, and those sneaky yellow bastards took it away from me. My life savings, down the toilet. When my wife went to her home district (Linfen) to apply for a passport, all the cops there already knew her situation and were like, “So, you want to go abroad to join your husband? It’s gonna cost you, haha.” By the time she was able to get out of China, our daughter had turned 2 and was required to pay for a full seat. Two tickets from China to Ecuador cost me over $6000. Bribes to the local constabulary cost me over $10000. Add visa fees, document translation (Chinese to Spanish ain’t cheap), multiple trips from Linfen to Beijing, and this whole thing easily cost me $20000. And I missed out on the first two years of my daughter’s life.

The outcome is that we now live in Ecuador. Within 3 weeks of their arrival, both my wife and daughter obtained Ecuadorian citizenship. My employer congratulated me on my nice family. Anyone who’s thinking of going to China to work, let this story be a giant red flag for you. There is a reason Chinese employers offer such attractive packages (round-trip airfare, free luxury apartment, meal card, top-tier salary) to prospective foreign workers. All this comes at a price: they will own you as soon as you step off the plane.

六周后,主任给我打电话,说他帮我预约了当天下午更换签证,我上完最后一节课后能否去一趟办公室?于是我去了办公室,上了主任的车,他开车送我去了当地的出入境管理局。到达后,我被告知我被驱逐出境了。我在派出所呆了整整15分钟,然后被一辆警车护送到14个小时外的北京机场。当我抗议说我跟一个当地人结婚了,我们还有一个孩子时,他们回答说:“没问题,你可以带着他们一起走。”

我失去了一切。我只想要一个家庭,而那些卑鄙的人却夺走了我的家庭。我一生的积蓄都付之东流。当我妻子去临汾老家申请护照时,那里的警察都知道她的情况,他们说:“你想出国和你丈夫团聚吗?这会让你付出代价的,哈哈。”等离开中国的时候,我们的女儿已经2岁了,必须支付全额机票了。两张从中国到厄瓜多尔的机票花了我6000多美元。加上签证费、文件翻译(西班牙语翻译不便宜)、从临汾到北京的多次往返,这一切让我花费了2万美元。我错过了我女儿生命的头两年。

我们现在住在厄瓜多尔。我的妻子和女儿在抵达后三周内都获得厄瓜多尔国籍。我的雇主祝贺我终于拥有了一个美满的家庭。想去中国工作的人,我的经历就是一个警醒。

5.Chinese are spending 80% of their waking hours on their smartphones. Taxi drivers chat on Wechat while driving and in restaurants people communicate with their phones in stead of just talking to each other.

5. 中国人除去睡觉,80%的时间在玩手机。出租车司机一边开车一边用微信聊天,餐馆里人们用手机交流,而不是互相聊天。

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6. Chinese public toiltets are often… well… public. Mostly squat toilets and sometimes there are no doors, so everybody is doing his thing in plain sight. Even when there is a door in the stall it’s not always used. In Chengdu airport I went to the toilets and saw a man in business suit, door open and pants down, sitting above his toilet. He made quite some noise too, and not with his mouth…

I didn’t make a pic of that scene.

EDIT: I don't want to give the impression that my visit in China was a negative experience. I was fascinated and had a wonderful time.

6.中国的公共厕所通常是……嗯……公共的。大多数是蹲式厕所,有时连门都没有,所以每个人都在众目睽睽之下方便。即使隔间有门,也经常有人不关门。我在成都机场上洗手间时,就看到一个穿着西装的男人坐在马桶上面,开着门,裤子挂在腿上。

编辑:我不想给人留下我的中国之旅非常负面的印象。我被这个国家迷住了,玩得很开心。

 

 

John Jerles, Father, Husband, Computer Geek, Amateur Photographer, Gamer, World Traveler

This is my favorite “China” story.

Back when I first moved to China I had a craving for non-Chinese food. So my Chinese wife, her mother and I went to a restaurant appropriately called “Western Restaurant”

At this point, I only spoke a few words of Chinese and couldn’t read a single character. So, as you can imagine, I was very happy when the waitress came over and handed me a menu that was completely in English. (My wife and her mother were handed menus that were in Chinese.)

A few minutes later it came time to order our meal. My mother-in-law ordered what she wanted. My wife ordered what she wanted. The waitress then turned to me.

I was feeling all kinds of confident and happy. I opened my English menu and pointed to the dish I wanted. The waitress made a hand gesture saying they didn’t have that dish available.

Undaunted, I flipped a couple pages and pointed to another item. Again, the waitress waved her hand signalling that I was out of luck. Feeling a little annoyed, I flipped to my last choice and she again dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

I turned to my wife and said, “I don’t want to waste any more time figuring out what they do and don’t have. Can you ask her to just point to the things they do have so we can have our lunch?”

My wife translated my request and the waitress replied without showing any emotion. My wife smiled and said to me, “They don’t have anything in that menu. It doesn’t even belong to this restaurant.”

I looked at my wife and asked, “Why would they hand me a menu that wasn’t even theirs?”

My wife just shrugged and said, “Because it was in English.”

这是我最喜欢的有关“中国”的故事。

我第一次搬到中国的时候,我对非中餐有一种强烈的渴望。所以我和我的中国妻子,她的母亲,还有我一起去了一家叫做“西餐厅”的餐厅吃饭。

那时,我只会说几个中文单词,一个字也看不懂。所以,你可以想象,当服务员过来递给我一份完全用英语写的菜单时,我非常高兴。(我妻子和她母亲拿到的菜单是中文的。)

几分钟后,侍者过来帮我们点单。我岳母点完了她想要的菜。我妻子也点完了她想要的东西。然后女服务员转向我。

我感到空前的自信和快乐。我打开英文菜单,指着我想吃的菜。女服务员摆了摆手,说他们没有那道菜。

我毫不气馁地继续翻了几页,指着另一项。女服务员又摆手,意思说我很不走运。我有点生气了,又最后选了一个,她还是摆手。

我转向妻子说:“我不想再浪费时间去搞清楚,他们有什么,没有什么。你能不能让她把有的菜指给我看,让我们吃上午饭?”

我的妻子把我的要求翻译给服务员,女服务员毫无表情地作了回答。我妻子笑着对我说:“菜单上什么也没有。这个菜单压根不是这家餐厅的。”

我看着我的妻子问:“他们为什么要给我一个其他餐馆的菜单?”

我妻子耸耸肩,说:“因为这是一份英文菜单。”

Edit #1: Over 2,000 upvotes? Thank you all so very much. I really didn’t expect this much attention to a story I thought was funny. In order to answer some of the many questions I have received, please let me add a few details.

Where was this restaurant at? The restaurant was located in the Tian He district of Canton (Guangzhou).

What did you end up eating? My wife ordered Chao Siu Bao (sp?) or Steamed BBQ Pork Buns for me. I have been told this is a child’s dish, but I absolutely loved it and it remains one of my favorite foods today.

Why didn’t you leave? My wife and mother-in-law had already ordered and I was hungry. So leaving would have caused more trouble than it solved. Besides, the food turned out to be pretty good.

Isn’t “Welcome to China moment” kind of insulting? Not at all. Whenever you travel to any other country (I have lived in many) you have a moment that lets you know that you are in a different country. There were so many things I loved about my life in China. This one was just so funny that it stuck in my mind.

What was your favorite Chinese food? This is a really difficult one. SO many great foods. But, my favorite food is something even most Chinese people think is weird. I love it because it was really tasty and really kind of odd.

Snake blood fried rice. Oh my god, this stuff was great! There was a village restaurant in Guangzhou that made snake hot pot. You would even get to pick out the snake you wanted to eat and they would kill it and prepare it for you while you watched. Amazing. They would then use the blood from your snake to make the snake blood fried rice. I know it sounds disgusting, but trust me, it was amazing.

However, if they offer you a shot of baiju (rice liquor) with the snake’s gall bladder squeezed into it, feel free to say no. That stuff was kind of nasty. :)

编辑#1:超过2000个赞?非常感谢大家。我真没想到会有这么多人关注我自认为有趣的故事。对于网友们的提问,请允许我补充一些细节。

这家餐厅在哪里?餐厅位于广州市天河区。

你最后吃了什么?我太太给我点了叉烧包。有人告诉我这是给孩子吃的,但我真的很喜欢,到现在都仍是我最喜欢的食物之一。

你为什么不一走了之?我的妻子和岳母已经点好了菜,我也饿了。因此,一走了之只会带来更多麻烦,解决不了问题。除此之外,菜色相当不错。

你最喜欢的中国菜是什么?这真的很难。中国美食种类太多了。但是,我最喜欢的食物是连大多数中国人都觉得奇怪的东西。我喜欢它,因为它真的很好吃,虽然真的有点奇怪。

那就是蛇血炒饭。天啊,这东西太棒了!广州有一家乡村餐馆做蛇肉火锅,你可以挑你想吃的蛇,他们会当着你的面把蛇杀好。很神奇。然后他们会用蛇的血做蛇血炒饭。我知道这听起来很恶心,但相信我,人间美味。

不过如果他们给你一杯加了蛇胆的白酒,只管拒绝。那东西有点恶心。

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